• “Defund” and “Dismantle” the NYPD.​​​

  • Because in Mamdani's world, taking guns away from cops technically counts as getting guns off the street.

  • Let's start by disbanding the Strategic Response Group — because having a specialized, trained police unit is clearly unfair to criminals who aren’t as organized. Equity means leveling the playing field.​

• "I do want to raise taxes."

  • Taking more of your paycheck is how we build a fairer city — for people who don't pay taxes.

  • Let's raise taxes on everyone! It's the fairest system of all: everyone feels the pain equally! 

• Create a "Department of Community Safety".​​

  • Because when every second counts, nothing deters an armed criminal like a clipboard and a calming voice. 

  • Trained police? Too aggressive. Let's try therapists with tote bags instead. "Sir, please put the gun down!"​

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